Thank you for the concerned e-mails I've received. I know it's been a while since I've posted, this last chemo treatment has really kicked my butt.
I had my first treatment with the new drug (poison) Taxol. I was so nervous to receive this drug because it has a high rate of allergic reactions. When I say allergic reactions, I mean allergic reactions.... swelling, difficulty breathing, low blood pressure, cardiac arrest. They pumped me full of medications (Benadryl, steriods, anti-nausea med, Pepsid) before hand to hopefully avoid any reactions. I was so drunk from the Benadryl I could hardly see straight, the room was spinning. Well, it worked....I didn't have an allergic reaction, praise God.
Although nausea is less common with this drug, it causes bone/muscle pain and peripheral neuropathy. By the time I got home from work on Friday I was so fatigued I could hardly move. I actually had to sit in my car for a few minutes when I got home just to get enough strength to get out and walk into the house. I've been short of breath with the slightest activity. Then the bone/muscle pain came. It felt like I had been hit by a truck, hurt to move at all. I finally gave in (at the insistence of my husband) and took a pain pill on Saturday. I'm trying to keep my head up but it's hard some days, it's getting very depressing. It feels like all this poison is killing me. It makes it so hard to walk into the cancer treatment center for my next treatment, knowing what it's going to make me feel like afterwards. Pray that this cancer does not recur because I truly don't know if I could go through all this again.
The good news is, today is Monday and I feel much better. I haven't had any peripheral neuropathy yet and pray that I don't. I don't know how I will be able to work if I can't feel my fingers.... It's true what they say, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Don't worry, I'm not slipping into the depths of depression....just tired of chemo and ready for it to be over. Pray that my next treatment goes smoothly, without allergic reaction, and that the pain is minimal. I appreciate all your prayers and caring messages.