Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The End's In Sight....

Hello to all family and friends.  It's been almost a week since my last treatment and I'm finally feeling almost human again.  Boy this Taxol is some really mean stuff.  It beats you to the ground and then backs over you with a semi truck.  I don't know how someone that's really elderly and frail could tolerate going through this treatment, my heart really goes out to them. 

Now the good news..... only ONE MORE treatment.  Mark your calendars..... "Wednesday, April 13th"... everyone say a little prayer thanking God for getting me through this nightmare.  The really crazy thing is, although I'm very excited about being through with chemo, I'm also very nervous and uneasy at the same time.  That sounds nuts, I know.  While this "poison" makes me sick, at least I feel protected knowing it's killing the cancer.  I can't seem to shake the feeling that this evil stuff is going to come back.  I guess that's normal and will get better with time, but I'm so nervous......and for those that know me, I'm not the nervous-nellie type.  I really even had second thoughts about writing about these feelings but they're there and are real.  I'm going to work extra hard at cherishing my accomplishments and many blessings.  Please pray God rains peace over me. 

I'm not sure what the plans are after chemo is over, I guess we'll discuss that at my last treatment.  I have been advised to keep my infusion port for at least 6 months, "just in case".  That kind of makes your heart sink but I'll take their advice and keep it.  I'm looking forward to warm weather, bike riding, motorcycle riding, long walks, gardening, fishing and HAIR, lol. 

I hope this finds all of you happy and healthy.  Love to all and until next time God bless.


  1. April 13th! YEA! At some point, you will just make piece with yourself about it all. Hey, you're lucky. I have to keep my port in for a year. Do you have to take an aromatase inhibitor? I do -- for five years; makes me feel a little more protected. I laughed at your last comment -- AND hair. Yes. And hair. -Megan-

  2. Connie, don't feel guilty about how your feel and speaking your heart. Believe me, what you are going through is so "normal", if there is anything about all this that is normal. I remember my oncologist gave me the option of quitting after #4 because I felt so rotten. He wanted me to go for 6. I immediately perked up and said I wanted to get all I was supposed to get. And even after number 6, I felt like I wanted to come back for booster shots, or SOMETHING. That just couldn't be all and just say good-by and we'll wait and see!!! I hated it. Still do. And the port??? Mine's in there "for life." It's been two years and he still tells me not to ask him about it because the answer is no. Hair???? When that peach fuzz starts, it's time to celebrate. It seemed so slow for me. But it will come. And with hair, there seems to come some sense of reality that it's over for real. Amazing that we can go through all this and hair can still grow back. Just shows you how the body can "redo" itself. I'm just tickled that your last one is coming and it will be done with. I knew you could do it. I feel so bad for you, though, that you had to go through this horrible stuff. There has to be extra stars in the crowns of all the woman who were made to take this stuff. And to think that we just keep going back for more. . . . . amazing!

  3. April 13 - then "It is Done!" Oh Hallelujah!
    I will be praying for PEACE in it and through it and all the way to the other side of it!! PEACE - be still...and He calmed the storm...the torrent of waves...stopped, and the water was as smooth as glass, and when she looked down the reflection she saw in the water, was not her own...But that of Jesus!
    Love ya sista!! PS. 23 He leadeth me besides still waters, He restoreth my soul!